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1. if there is a god...does he have an annoying step brother?2. if there is a fruit of the looms... then who put thread on those said looms?3. did manson drink water?4. if there are quarks in the universe...do they get rejected for dates?5. emo people would make great lawn mowers.6. lawn mowers would make great emo people.7. is dick clark a robot?8. if fox news is in reality a syndicated childrens show... then shouldnt we blame time warner?9. if youve kept reading till this point...you get a cookie.10. energy drinks, viagra, coffee, crack heads and cocoa crispys are to blame for todays econimic status.11. im starting to run out of things to write.12. if cats have nine lives, do they trade them every once in a while for catnip?13. in something wicked this way comes, you can actualy hear the best scream in pain.14. however, coincidently, in star trek 4, you can hear kirk screaking as well.15. is it true that people with big ears can fly like ben stiller?16. i miss bambis mother. but the steaks were excellent.17. never get a blow job from a piranna. it will hurt your soul.18. tron wouldve been better if there was a dance number.19. metallica has to stay away from magnets. 20. if youve kept reading till this point, you get another cookie, just a slightly smaller and not as good one.21. these thoughts of mine are really strange.22. I AM THE LAW. and so is pat sajak.23. i once played whack a mole with my penis. the moles won and i had to get fifty stitches. i sued the game.24. was there ever a point in time when people near death thought to themselves, "what the fuck?"25. things to be happy for: sex, pharmicuticles for midgets, the idiots on fox news, and peanut butter. god bless that guy over there.26. i only planned on doing 20 of these.27. i lied, i planned on thirty.28. was chuck norris ever fat?29. was rosie o donnel ever thin?30. if you were a smart lemming in the process of jumping off a short cliff, when a four year pick you up...would you give him rabies?thats all from me. spread the love if you feel up to it.